After six months of teaching yoga on-the-road, I’ve returned to my home city of Atlanta to reflect. I recently posted an article about how to get started as a traveling yoga teacher, but I’d like to share how I even knew I wanted to move in this direction with my life and my teaching.
So why choose this? Why choose a lifestyle filled with adventuresome and unpredictable geographic challenges over something else? If I’m honest with myself, then the answer is that I didn’t actually choose this. It chose me. It called to me, and was relentless about calling to me until I decided to listen and then follow.
So what are the hallmarks or signatures of your heart calling you onto a path that may not be so easy, but will certainly teach you the lessons your soul is yearning for you to learn?
‘Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.’ –Rumi
1) The desire was relentless. I couldn’t escape it. I went to school, I got a degree, I began a job in my field of study, and yet this thing wouldn’t let me go.
2) I couldn’t stop myself from daydreaming. My mind invariably went to this place whenever it could, and this question, of “but what if I actually tried doing __________ instead of the job I’m currently in?” continually emerged. I played out all different scenarios in my mind – quitting my job, telling my friends and family what I was planning. I imagined their reactions in a perfect world, and their reactions in my mind’s projection of the real world.
3) As I daydreamed, I’d wonder, “Ok, what if I really DID just do it?” and instantly my heart would begin to race. I allowed myself to let the logistics go for a few moments, and instead move consciously and with clear intention into a perfect creative daydream space.
4) Once I let the dream take me over I’d invariably feel my insides expand exponentially on all sides. I felt like I could take over the world – no, the Universe. From this expanse, suddenly nothing felt unattainable. I’d realize I was smiling from ear to ear, and couldn’t remember when the creep of a smile even started. I felt like I was running in the direction of this thing couldn’t see, or grasp, and yet I felt like a magnet drawing everything I wanted toward me.
5) As soon as I would get deep into a glorious daydream, those twinges of my current reality would pull me back out, and I’d tell myself that I was being entirely unrealistic. I’d tell myself it could never happen. That I should stay exactly where I was because I had a good thing going. And yet, I couldn’t help but wonder “what if?”
6) I knew I wasn’t running away, but instead I was running toward this ‘thing’, this unknown future, with all it’s possibilities. And it was this Unknown that kept me dreaming. This was not an impulse.
7) These ups-and-down left me feeling uncertain. I’d tell myself these were silly dreams and to get back to life as it were, and that life couldn’t possibly exist in this fantasized reality.
8) When I would come to my yoga mat for reflection or meditation, I was able to recognize that I was largely just afraid of making such a huge change. I was afraid of people questioning me because I was definitely questioning myself. How could I even begin to justify this gigantic life decision to them? Then I realized it was My life. It was My dream. I didn’t need to justify that to anyone. I just needed to honor this dream by living it out.
9) When I again moved into the space of mentally living out my dream, the vision began to nourish me. As I was filled up by this nourishment, the fear that bound me to an unfulfilling job, and the tailspin that uncertainty kept me in, finally released. I felt that feeling which made my heart race, my cheeks hurt from smiling, and made my insides explode with a billion stars reminding me that the Universe was completely inside me.
10) From this place, I surrendered and allowed the feeling to take me over, and in doing so the worries began to subside. I let the weight of these fears melt off my body like I was snake shedding its skin, revealing a new version of myself, a new path, a new life.
11) This vision, this call, this life healed the parts of myself that kept me small. This small self has never taken me where I wanted to go because it can’t. It has always kept me out of reach of my dream because it made me believe I wasn’t worthy of it, that I hadn’t learned enough to attain it, that I wasn’t yet ready. But this Vision called to me so consistently, telling me, encouraging me, reminding me of my Greatness. I am Great. I am worthy. I am whole and complete in myself. I am Healed. I am Ready. And you are too.
This is what the Call sounds like. Answer it.
Sarah Cavrak, PhD, is an international yoga teacher, reiki healer, and wild woman. She hopes to empower others to discover their own Wild Soul. Find her on Facebook and Instagram @sarahcavrakyoga, as well as her website www.sarahcavrak.com.