For a long time, there has been a calling in my heart that was not easy to hear, listen to, and answer. For many years, I have been on a journey of global travel and simultaneously an internal journey of self-discovery, personal growth, yoga, spiritual practices, and redefining freedom. This exploration of the world and myself was my entire lived experience for several years as I pursued life as a full-time nomad.
What initially sparked my interest in travel was personal growth. Whether this was a fully conscious decision or not, I knew at some level that I was not living in alignment with my most authentic self, and that I had some discovery to do. I knew from personal experience that pushing myself out of my comfort zone (and I mean FAR out) was always the fastest route to growth.
So I left the country and pushed myself into new and overwhelming experiences, jobs, places, and practices. I found a passion for yoga, and became a travelling yoga teacher, finding many amazing opportunities through Yoga Trade. I discovered permaculture, became a body worker, and found myself among communities of people who not only shared my passions, but made me feel at home in this world.
Life became an experience of absolute freedom, as I learned to trust the Universe and myself more and more, and learned to let go of plans and expectations. I often had no idea where I would be a month from now, and followed the inspirations and opportunities that presented themselves to me. The world became my oyster as I learned that I could literally do anything I wanted, and go anywhere I dreamed.
But after several years of living this way, something shifted. I no longer yearned for constant new and foreign experiences to delight my senses. I no longer sought to move my heart and my body every few months.
With the freedom of absolute choice, came an inner knowing of discernment. I began to learn about myself and my preferences, my passions, my goals and my dreams. I was no longer a lost girl who needed to experience everything to learn what life was about. I had clarity.
Suddenly, unlimited choice became burdensome rather than freeing. As I gained awareness of my authentic self and the things I was most passionate about, I wanted to create, cultivate, and build something. Moving every few months kept me in a state of constant readjustment, which was something I was well adapted to handle. I knew the practices, people, places, and experiences I needed to carve out to create a happy existence in each new place, and doing so was no longer out of my comfort zone.
Instead of making me free, constant movement was holding me back from expanding into a woman who could take all I had learned and apply it. I was being called to find stillness, to focus my energy on creating and building and honing in on my passions and purpose.
It was really difficult for me to accept this knowledge at first. I had confused my authentic identity, which I found through my inner and outer journey, with the act of travel. I had confused the concept of freedom with the act of being free of commitment to any single place or path.
Ultimately, listening to my heart has guided me to end my full time travels and commit to a particular path that feels in total alignment with my passions and purpose. The most empowering shift in perspective I have experienced throughout this transition has been shifting my relationship with the concept of freedom.
Freedom of choice provided me with the clarity to know who I am, what I love most, what my gifts and talents are, where my community is, how I want to feel, and how I want to exist and move through the world. I fully endorse anyone who is willing and courageous enough to walk into the unknowns of exploration that solo travel provides, and to truly discover themselves through the freedom of choice.
For me, now armed with the knowledge of clarity, freedom looks very different.
There is a new kind of freedom that comes from knowing yourself so deeply, and committing to the things, places, people, and paths that fully align with your soul.
Commitment and learning to stay still have opened up a whole new realm of creativity and opportunity. There is freedom that comes from knowing the difference between something that is right for me and something that is a beautiful idea for someone else. There is freedom in saying no to things that are not my passion. There is freedom in becoming so clear on what I want, that anything outside of that does not need to be experienced to know it isn’t right.
Remembering that I am free, even though I am no longer floating through life with no fixed address empowers me to embrace my experience. This transition is big and scary, and SO FAR out of my comfort zone. I still have a lot of work to do to cultivate the lifestyle, community, career, partnership, and home of my wildest dreams. Sometimes I feel daunted and overwhelmed, and my self-doubt has me asking myself “what the heck am I doing here?” and “why did I give up a life of total adventure for this?”
In these moments, I graciously remind myself that all of the lessons and growth of the road led me here. That those adventures, challenges, and new experiences taught me who I am, and what I am meant to do in this world. I am finding the discipline to dedicate myself to what I now know is right for me.
And now, freedom looks like consciously choosing and committing to walk the path that I have fully chosen. Freedom means I know myself and belong to myself so deeply, that I have the courage to do exactly what I am meant to do.
Hannah is a wild soul, nature lover, plant enthusiast, yogi, and community builder. She is passionate about facilitating healing through connecting humans with each other and the natural world. She is now pursuing full time studies as a Clinical Therapeutic Herbalist in Canada, and plans to begin offering re-wilding retreats for women in Costa Rica in 2020.
